My Two Cents Worth on the World Vision Discussions In March 2014 

Because the kids I sponsor with World Vision are real kids, I am not planning to throw them under the bus even though I might like to get off the bus. I will complete the commitment I have made to them. At least the USA office has clarified their stand. It's helpful information to have when making future decisions. Giving a cup of water in the name of the Lord is a good thing. Giving a cup of water without taking the Lords name in vain is even better. If the organizations that continue to seek to do both, end up benefitting from a renewed awareness and commitment from Christians who feel so strongly about the recent issues being debated, that they start really getting behind those other groups with real $acrificial $upport, I don't imagine World Vision will be upset. From what I can see they are not trying to be the only organization seeking to provide solutions to poverty and other social ills. I doubt they will be seen picketing the other groups offices . Imagine if they ( WV) were put out of business by effective Christian compassion efforts rather than by withdrawn support? Now that would be a win!
I personally challenge every vociferous follower of Christ to compare their tax receipt for last years donations toward the problems of world hunger and homelessness to their annual bills for cable/satellite and cell phones alone and think long and hard about what Christian values really are in real time.

I was listening to something that was a favorite song of mine when I was an 18 year old ( Listen HERE)
Made me nostalgic for the days before " Worship Band " became the new label for Christian Rock, and all the artists wore the same v neck t-shirts, had the same tattoos to prove how authentic they were, wore their wifes jeans and sold CD's full of "Jesus is My Boyfriend" worship songs.
Maybe I am just a crotchety old 51 year old but I used to love songs that really spoke about the struggle, still do.

The Struggle Written by Glen Kaiser

Sometimes you scare me by what you cause me to see, and I'm afraid of knowing who I am,
Although you've changed me, there's still a whole lot of old wineskin, and to open up would destroy the me I'm afraid to show,
But one part of me doesn't want to grow, but I'm tired of this lingering winter, 
Tired of ground so hard and cold,
Plough your way through - I'm asking you to, oh, Jesus,
Lord, you're my only hope.

Without you, I can't face myself,
Without you, I can't face myself,
Without you, I can't face myself,
Without you.

My pride wants me to hide inside myself, but I love you, Lord, and I don't want our love put on the shelf,
I'm tired of fighting to be what I am,
Jesus, make me what you want me to be,
Because of you, I desire reality,
A love for you is what I'm dying to receive,
Though I hate what I am, I understand that you've promised me,
You've promised me freedom in your truth, and I'll be ready to face myself when I've faced you.

Without you, I can't face myself,
Without you, I can't face myself,
And I'll be ready, ready to face myself when I face you.

The Crash and The Aftermath

It's been many weeks since my last confession...at least that is what I feel like I should start with after such a long hiatus! 
So 34 days ago I was driving along on Ontario's famous toll highway ( the 407) which as we speak is being extended right through my home town. Currently however it comes to an end and re-blends with good old Hwy 7 just west of where I live. 
I had been driving back from a town West of the city,  with my wife and daughter and had started to have a sneaking suspicion that "the flu" ( influenza ) was closing fast upon me.  I usually get some kind of a mental "tell" that somewhere in the near future I will be having an appointment with a porcelain bowl.
I have a saying that here in Canada, "Christmas is the season that brings the best out of people; influenza is the season that brings the Christmas out of people!" 
So I had been trying to block the idea out of my mind ( if you don't think about it it won't happen) when 100 meters from the lighted intersection, that is the end of the 407, I suddenly felt violently ill ( this is different from a pacifist illness theoretically).
I knew I was in distress but to this point I had not mentioned a word about how I was feeling to either my wife or daughter. I decided now would be the time to enlighten them so I said three rapid fire statements ( while driving at 100 km an hour) " I don't feel well/ I need to pull over/I'm going to pass out".
Within a minute I found myself listening to Janine yelling at me while she stood outside of the car in the middle of an ice and snow covered field and cars were stopping on the shoulder of the road I had been driving on seconds earlier,  yelling questions like " are you OK?" 
"Did I pass out?" I asked , and then preceded to submit to  the flu ( on the snow) being careful not to get anything spewed in my car which I had yet to ascertain had bigger issues. 

I will skip the details of how fortunate I am that none of the three of us were harmed, how I did not even touch another vehicle let alone injure any innocent bystanders/drivers. It was an outcome for which I definitely believe involved divine intervention, I also know that really good people die in car crashes all the time.  While I believe that God did spare us I don't pretend to have an explanation why. 
I have been thinking about a different kind of lesson in the 35 days since. The lesson is about anger/ frustration/patience.
Here in Ontario they frown on things like passing out while behind the wheel. As a result , no matter what your excuse may be they simply and quickly revoke your privilege to drive. Then it is up to you to get cracking, get to your physician and undergo extensive testing to determine the cause of the incident and they likelihood of a recurrence of the same thing happening again. 
Once you have completed all of that, you submit your medical report and then you wait, for at least 6 weeks. 
At the same time 34 days later my car has not yet left the repair shop.
What I am surprised by is how non- frustrated I have been by 5 weeks going by just waiting, you see I am not a very good waiter.
I have been more frustrated, distracted, discouraged by forced delays of a much shorter less expensive type many times in my life, why have I lost so little sleep over this one? 
It's a number of things. Gratitude for one. Of course I can't avoid feeling anything other than fortunate. any of the other alternative scenarios once I lost consciousness that I can easily imagine are far worse. This is the "count your blessings" factor I suppose. 
There is something else I believe at work in my psyche...none of it is in my control.
I am not tempted to get angry at the auto shop for taking "so long" because I don't have a licence to drive anyway.
I don't have a licence because there is an MTO protocol that I have no valid reason for believing I haven't earned ...I am the one after all  that was careening down a public highway unconscious. The extensive testing the 6 weeks to get my report evaluated, there is nothing i can do to make that happen faster. 

Like I said, I am not a naturally patient person. How much of my frustrations , anger , moodiness, bad attitudes that I justify are because  I am addicted tot he illusion that I am in control of many more things in life than I would like to admit. 
I don't think of myself as a control freak yet the main reason in this case why I have not felt inclined to freak out is that I am aware that I am not in control. 
I used to have a fridge magnet for years ,  it quoted a Psalm ( 31)
"... I trust in you, Lord;
    I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hands;"

Maybe after years on my fridge, that verse is finally starting to stick. 

I like to hope so.